10// 28 July 2020

Tonight there was a blue whale in the middle of the road around the corner from my house. No one knew where it came from, just appeared there dead. I hauled ass to bunnings to buy 6 gas masks because the only way to clear the road would be to blow up the whale and that is going to stink for a long time. Plus I figure no one has thought about that yet but when they do it’ll be mayhem at bunnings so better be proactive and go now. So I get home and the whale is really starting to stink (not even blown up yet but you know, dead whale and all), chuck Adam his gas mask and take off to mums to get them theirs. They’re talking on the radio about people will be trapped in their homes as they’re closing a bunch of roads and people were starting to realize they would need gas masks so bunnings was getting crazy. Because the roads were going to be closed I called Adam and said figure out what you want for dinner and I’ll go get it now, then I went to the milk bar and loaded up on lollies (the important things). I spent $52 on lollies. Made it back home in time before the roads closed. Whale wasn’t blown up yet but they were talking on the radio about how that was the only option and the govt was sorting out how to do it. No one was asking where tf did a whale come from?! I called my brother and said I have a gas mask for you in case you end up smelling the whale in your side of the city too.